secrets

20 August 2010

Ok. I have a problem with secrets. Particularly if they are happy ones.

I just want to tell everyone!

Happy secrets are the worst because I end up feeling like I’m just busting at the seams to tell people.

I just want to shout from the rooftops: We’re having a baby!!!

It’s only been 2 days and it’s already driving me crazy.

I talk to my mom on the phone and she says, “Anything new?” And I respond, “Nope, nothing new” while my brain shouts, “Yes, only the best news you’ll hear for the next 3 months!”

We ran into a girl I met in grad school in the grocery store and we’re chatting about life and she says “How’s things?” and I say, “Good” when I want to say, “Freaking fantastic because we’re having a baby!” We get to talking about leaving the area and schools and she says “All things you have to worry about when you have kids, if you have kids.” Yup, we’re definitely having kids. That journey has begun.

I e-mail my girlfriends… “oh nothing exciting going on here.” LIE.

Knowing that we’ve been trying to have a baby, one responds wondering if we’re going to put things on hold since I’m thinking of looking for a new job and I have to respond that we’re just forging ahead and taking what life gives us.

I want to ask people what the deal is with the deli meat according to my doctor because, seriously, I don’t know what I’m going to eat for lunch and it’s going to be a few weeks until I can ask the doctor myself.

We have all this cider that I can no longer drink so Will thought, “oh we can try to pawn some off on my sister.” Oh wait, that’ll look suspicious.

It’s like on the surface nothing in our lives has changed but really we’ve been totally rocked down to the foundation.

I hate secrets.

Keeping good news to yourself sucks.

15 November 2010

Well, in the end after the first week or so, it got pretty normal not to tell people.  The hardest was not telling my parents the whole time we were on vacation especially with my mom asking leading questions every couple of days (she swears she didn’t realize that she was doing it).  Because we really didn’t want too many people knowing before I was at least 12 weeks along and we had certain people that we wanted to tell in person, it just kind of became a bit of a logistical nightmare as we tried to figure out how to make schedules mesh and see those people before we told the whole world.

Most people know by now though we haven’t made the “official” announcement on Facebook but I actually still haven’t told most of the people that I work with and for the most part, it’s not really bothering me.

It’s like there are so many other things to think and worry about that I’m not really thinking too much anymore about telling everyone in sight.  I’ve also gotten paranoid that the more people we tell, the higher the chances will be that something will go wrong and then we’ll have to spread bad news.  But then I just remind myself that that is, in fact, paranoid and not likely to happen and go on with my day and continue to spread the happy news.

Besides it’s been fun to spread the news. 

Especially when we’ve been able to deliver it in person and see the reaction firsthand.  We got an adorable Charlie Brown-esque dance from Will’s sister.  My niece was a little confused for a bit – but that could have been more to do with my choice of words.  My folks were just like “well, we already knew it” which I expected.  I actually got slightly similar reactions from two of my best friends – ah, the people who know you best can always sniff it out, right?  One of my nephews is already campaigning to have the baby named after him if it’s a boy – um, I don’t think we’ll do that. 

And I discovered today that my extended family news chain is apparently broken as not a single one of my cousins even knew I was pregnant when I was soliciting baby name input (in the form of asking what everyone’s middle names were).